Just Naomi™

So basically what I’m gonna do is think the worst of everything ans everyone. Be pessimistic and just be sour…then when something actually pans out i can be happy. Instead of me being a fucking idiot and getting my hopes up about every single thing…I’m really naive it seems.

But yeah just thought id update you guys. Id much rather if nobody called me, texts me, invited me places…just stop lol cuzz I’m just gonna say no. Yup im gonna be all by myself and I’m gonna enjoy it.

I’m tired of making other people happy and always being there for people and then getting fucked over. I’m tired of it. I’m so fucking serious about all this shit. Honestly everybody just leave me the fuck alone and let me die with my millions of cats…worse case scenario…id die a virgin…best case scenario…I’m not sure lol

But yeah. This is me. I’m just Naomi. Always have been. Always will be.

I think its illegal to hate my life this much at the moment…im not even jokin. This is the WORST summer i have ever been through in my whole entire life. I doh give a fuck what anybody want to say about my life…its mine…im living it…yes i hate it lol but its mine. So! enjoy your own lives…live it up to the fullest and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. anyway im just ranting at the moment becuz im extremely upset about my family life, my love life (which is non existent) and every other kinda life somebody can have lol.

I never really thought that writing helps you know but rite now im feeling A LOT better. Fuck people…better yet…fuck me. Yes maybe that’s what i need. OK lol nah that’s not what i need lol (no comment). But ye…thanx a lot Tumblr for just kinda being here for me u know…i think i like you…i really think i like you :)

(8)I tell you, I can visualize it all.This couldn’t be a dream for too real it all seems.(8)

As i wrote the title for this post an image came to my head..a typical 1950’s guy in a hat and a tux, folding me up and putting me in his hand luggage lol smh. Ive created a wonder land in my head, you might think im crazy but later on..maybe not in this post, but you’ll understand just what caused me to have this gigantic imagination that i just CANNOT control!!!

Have you ever thought that you are your own best company? well i not sure bout you…was just speaking for myself. If you cant entertain yourself then..you are sad, if you can…the you are crazy.

lol so during the very long drought it was my turn to wash up the dishes and we had NO tank water and i had to use a bucket of water(clean but nothing beats running water)…needless to say, all i was thinking was…FML!!

So as each minute goes by i’m getting really really pissed and start curse and hiss me teeth.(you would too! ) lol so i’m thinking: i cah continue behaving like this cuz daddy goh come around here nd cuss me out. so i basically needed to regain my composure…what did i do? weeeeelllll i decided to tell a story

N.B. I am the person telling the story (the grand mother) and i am also the persons listening to the story (the grand kids) I was upset and I wanted them (my family) to that i was upset.So i began talking loudly so that they could hear my story :) im nice…i know ^_^ so the story went sumn like this:

me grandma: …well my darlings, good night!

me kids: no grandma no! don’t leave yet! tell us a story grandma!

me grandma: what would you like to hear my lovelies??

me kids: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD!!

me grandma:(aside) fuck? (to the children) OOO thats my favourite (sigh) hmmm…Once upon a time in a land far away there lived a girl named…Little Red Riding Hood?? (Aside) how the fuck that must be the girl name?? hst *smh*

lol so my pathetic story went on and on until i was done with the dishes, which took FOREVER to finish because ppl kept restocking the damn sink!!  Needless to say though, my story worked and my mood improved significantly!

My imagination has come to my rescue countless times, which is exactly why I treat it right and keep feeding it. Its what keeps me sane (believe it or not) lol anyway I have much to say on this topic but this is already a lot, sooooo… THE END!

So the other day one of my friends asked me how I have phone sex…HOLD UP!!! what did you just say??? the most I could do was just LMFAO cuz i’m like “honey wah you a ask me seh??” lol basically for me you have to: 

• Find your “bedroom voice” lmao lol =\ don’t ask me where to look for it enuh…just practice sounding sexy
• Know your partner. When i say this i just mean that you have to know what your partner likes because you can’t really be telling them about hot wax when they want to hear about feathers lol YIKES!!
• Create scenarios *wink* lmao i soooo am NOT elaborating here
• Let your hands do the talking. Enough said.

I’m no expert at this though and this is straight from my head so good luck and enjoy! lol i’ll add to the list if i learn anything new :)

Miss Lucy had a steam boat
The steamboat had a bell,
Miss Lucy went to heaven and the
Steamboat went to…
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will chop off your…
Behind the ‘fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And she cut her little…
Ask me no more questions
I’ll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Pulling down their…
Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the…
Dark is like a movie
A movie’s like a show
A show is like a tv set
And that is all I know.

So i recently started watching this shoe on Lifetime in the mornings and i must say.. IT IS AMAZING!! The drama in this tv show revolves around housewives living on Wisteria Lane. Though the town is picturesque…there’s more to it than meets the eye…lol a whole heap more!! These chicks are certified CRAZY!

The women of Wysteria Lane

• Susan Mayer:Easily one of the most entertaining housewives on Wisteria Lane, Susan Mayer and her daughter Julie spent many years taking care of each other after she divorced her first husband Carl. One can always count on Susan getting into some sort of hilarious and/or sticky situation. During the first four seasons, Susan and her neighbor Mike were a couple (on again, off again). They finally married and she gave birth to their son, Maynard. As the series jumped ahead five years, Susan is no longer with Mike and has a hot new lover in her life! 
• Bree Hodge:The Martha Stewart of Wisteria Lane. The perfect hostess, friend, wife and mother. However, underneath the polished exterior lies a damaged, imperfect woman who will stop at nothing to protect her family and friends. Her relationship with her children Andrew and Danielle is been volatile over the years, but it looks as though Andrew and Bree are finally on the road to much happier times, especially now that she has accepted his homosexuality. When Danielle got pregnant, Bree sent her away and faked a pregnancy in order to pass off the baby as her own. After losing her husband Rex at the end of season one, Bree married Orson Hodge, a dentist with a few secrets of his own.
• Lynette Scavo:Being a mother of four is difficult in of itself, but imagine three of those children being the next thing to the devil’s spawn? That’s the hand Lynette Scavo was dealt and I don’t think she’d trade her three boys and little girl for perfect children. After getting her husband Tom fired from his job, Lynette headed back to work and Tom decided to use their life savings to open a pizzeria and Lynette quit her job to work with Tom. In season three, Tom learned he had fathered a child from a previous relationship. When the girl’s mother died, she went to live with the Scavo’s and soon made their boys look like angels. She was promptly shipped off to live with relatives. Lynette spent season four battling lymphoma and is now cancer-free.
• Gabrielle Solis:This beauty queen knows exactly what she wants in life and will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Although Gaby’s husband Carlos provided her with a luxurious lifestyle, it didn’t take long before she began a torrid affair with their teenage gardener. After their divorce, Gaby and Carlos found their way back to each other, despite the fact that he is blind and has no money. Now that the show has jumped five years into the future, Gaby is now the mother of a precocious little girl. Will she survive motherhood? Or better yet - will Carlos survive Gaby’s motherhood?
• Edie Britt:Every neighborhood must have that man-stealer, and Wisteria Lane is no different. Edie Britt has gone after all those desperate husbands - and even bedded most of them! After blackmailing her way into the ladies weekly poker game, Edie managed to form quasi friendships with most of the leading ladies. Once it was revealed that she was blackmailing Bree, Edie was run out of town. Skipping ahead five years, Edie is back on Wisteria Lane and married to a very handsome man…. with a major secret.

This show is freakin EPIC!!! a must see…lol i dunno which season i reach tho! :S my fave you ask? lol i LOVE Lynette more than all a dem…Gabrielle is my second fave tho!!

So theres no denying it…there are so damn good looking black actors out there! as well as white but imma focus on my black men rite now :)

1. Denzel Washington Shemar Moore VIN DIESEL!!!
2. Dwayne Johnson!!!   MICHAEL EALY!!!!
3. Dijmon Hounsou (YUM!)
4. IDRIS ELBA!!!!
5. Columbus Short…lets forget that hes short for just 1 minute *fanning*
6. Tyrese! BUH!!! *run hand over those nipples!!!!*
7. Boris Kudjoe…need i say more?? need i say more???
8. Morris Chesnut!
9. LL COOL J…hes only down the bottom cuz i TOTALLY forgot that he was in Deep Blue Sea!!
10. Keith Hamilton Cobb…this man is jst tooo sexci for words!!! LOVE him in Andromeda!! oh ma heart!!! wooooiiiii…. he DOES NOT belong at 10 but i neva memba bout him at al!!